Lots of irons in the fire (which can explain why my clothes are so wrinkled)…but keeping going. Check out the stuff I’m doing at Biff Bam Pop if your curious about where I’ve been hiding out the last few months…
…speaking of hiding, and irons in the fire….
Of course, Philly Writers’ Conference starts on June 10th. Lots of stuff going on there! Talk…er write to you again soon!
The last great garden war has begun. The fragile detente that has existed between our realm and The Ivy since the First Great Garden war of 1995 has shattered. And the world is a better place for it.
.. just some of the dozens of lost souls that wandered into Ivy territory and disappeared. The horrors they must have seen…
Like most great wars, this one was begun by a beautiful woman. My wife, the Queen, has obtained a new nativist religion, one that decrees that only those things that spring from the local soil are worthy. She peers across our realm and sees the ivy that has not only crept far beyond the borders established in our 1995 conflict, but even beyond those more liberal lines set after smaller skirmishes.
…piles of brick and stone used to make prior borders. Perhaps now with the Ivy threat gone, we can truly have a world without borders…
She points one finger and with hoary, doom crow’s voice declares “invasive!” And I march forward with the tools of war. Her’s is the face that launched 1000 rakes; but no Helen is she, standing demurely behind the walls letting heroes fight her battles. Nay, more Artemis than Aphrodite, this warrior woman, war bound and sap-thirsty, wields her pruners like a scythe. And if I falter, if my back cries for relief or my knees for surrender, I only have to look to her, forging far-afield, and giving no quarter to the enemy.
…the tomb of a hero, Hamtaro d’Hamster (d2004), overrun by the Ivy and nearly forgotten…
And no quarter can be given, for this battle does not stop at prior borders. No it continues deep into the enemy’s ancestral home, where the Ivy has lived since even before my grandfather, The Old King, ruled these lands; and where the roots grow thick as my wrist and plumb deep into the earth. And not only ivy falls to our assault. Those that sought sanctuary there, the hated sumac, the decorative grasses, the carpet rose we had long tolerated because of it’s beauty. “Invasive!” she calls and they feel the wrath of a Queen.
…the carnage of war. Over 20 lawn and leaf bags were called into service to dispose of the enemy…
The battles seemed never-ending. Tendrils sought eyes, roots tripped boot, and thorn pierced through glove. But my lady says we must succeed, so succeed we did, driving a stake through the taproot of the enemy. Some outposts remained, but cutoff from their homeland they will whither and die. The war is done.
..the battle has left the earth bare, but this will someday be the home of the Royal Shade Garden…
Still, last night I dreamed that the enemy had planted seeds in my head, and stem and leave sprouted from my eyes and ears. And the queen did shout ‘Invasive” before swinging rake and exposing the pulp of my brain. And when I awoke I found a leaf upon my chest. I crushed it within my clenched fest, just a small, fragile thing, but still a reminder, that some battles can never truly end. I will remain ever vigilant for my Queen.
…this barbie was found facedown in a shallow grave on the border…why did she wander so close to danger? What secrets did she keep?
Head over to Biff Bam Pop to check out my thoughts on Episode 7 of True Detective!
…really, you’re just going to send me away like that?
Hey folks, I’m in my usual pre-Philadelphia Writers’ Conference “ignore everything else” phase, but I haven’t been entirely mute.
…oh how we wish you were…
The good folks at Biff Bam Pop have once again given me a forum to discuss my perception of Game of Thrones each week. You can find those ramblings here.
…strangely, though, they’ve expressed no interest in my Star Trek/GOT crossover fan fiction…
And speaking of the conference, I’ve posted several interviews (and transcribed others) over at the PWC Blog.
…I even interviewed this guy, really!
I’ve also waxed rhapsodic with my friends at the South Jersey Writers’ Group as to why I go to the conference and why they should too.
…little known fact: PWC practices mind control..just stare into the feathers and relax…
And while my make-believe world has tended to be ignored, the biweekly Shock Totem flash contest continues to be an inspiration. I might be posting some of those entries later.
…maybe some Warner Bros/GOT fan fiction?
As if I haven’t mentioned it a million times, Philly Flash Inferno published my creepy little tale of obsession and the afterlife Mr. Belial. So check those folks out.
…all about the wonderful world of key making, sort of…
And in general, good news…the Purple Emu has returned. Story ideas and all the energy that comes with it have been running roughshod through my grey matter for several weeks. Many thanks to all of you who helped me through my long (and scary) bout of writers’ block.
Hopefully more good news to come!
On January 30, 2010 I wrote this:
“KnippKnopp is going to become my Weight Watchers for writing, my Gold’s Gym for building up the creative muscle. Idealistic? Absolutely, but maybe, just maybe, the act of putting hand to keyboard for something other than functional design documents and interface specs (yes, doing this IS as awful as it sounds), will kick-start me and start to get those writing muscles warmed up and moving.”
I must have been having fun this past half-decade, because it really doesn’t feel like I’ve been writing this blog for five years. It seems like just yesterday that I took those first tentative steps on this mid-life crisis induced writers’ journey; And it’s impossible not to ask, did the blog do its job? Did it really “get those writing muscles warmed up?” Find out after the break.
…oh boy, can’t wait!
Read the rest of this entry »
The Walking Dead resumes on February 8th and I’m hoping the series picks up after a muddled, confusing mid-season finale in which (spoilers ahead) Beth essentially commits suicide-by-cop, the worst-kept secret of the series (that Eugene was a fraud) is finally exposed, and our heroes are left (once again) without a home after Father Dumbass led a horde right back to the church. It’s got to get better from here, right?
I’m a late adopter to Agents of Shield. My original assessment when the series began last year was “eh” but word of mouth about this season, which starts to explore the concepts of the Terrigen Mists and the Inhumans, was enough to make me skip ahead and watch the mid-season finale. I hope to catch up on the rest of the season soon, but will be there when the show commences in March.
…and if you don’t, we’ll be coming for you…
The new season of Game of Thrones begins in April and spring has never seemed further away. I’m looking forward to seeing Dorne and meeting Prince Oberyn’s bastard daughter’s the Sand Snakes. Hoping we get to see Tywin’s funeral. I have a feeling this season we’re going to see a lot more deviation from the books as the show’s writers clean up and combine some of the redundant characters and plot-lines that have begun to crop up in Ser George’s novels at this point in the story.
…blasphemer! The next character I kill will be you!
I think it will be hard to top 2014 for Marvel oriented movies – with the Winter Soldier excellently kicking off Phase 2 of the Marvel Universe, Brian Singer successfully returning to the X-Men with the mind and time bending Days of Future Past (featuring my favorite scene in any movie ever), and even the Amazing Spiderman sequel finding a warm place in my heart. There was also that little movie about a raccoon and his pet tree that set all kinds of records. James Gunn directed a likeable cast of misfits to make Guardians of the Galaxy the highest grossing Marvel movie not called Iron Man 3 or The Avengers.
…we think it’s time to talk spin-off…
And The Avengers sequel is first on my list with The Age of Ultron hitting theaters in May. If the first trailer holds true, it may be that we’re going to have to choose between this being a “Great Movie” or “The Greatest Movie Ever.”
…I’ve already watched this 1,342 times…
The sequel to the surprise success The Woman in Black is an early release, and it looks like it will either be scarier than the original (with a whole houseful of orphans for the lady to feast open) or just plain awful. I might decide to skip it, since the first movie made me scream like a little girl.
…actual footage from the theater surveillance camera…
My summer is going to be busy. After the Age of Ultron, we get to watch the world burn in Mad Max: Fury Road, see how Chris Pratt handle new dinosaurs in Jurassic World, and follow Marvel Studios in a new, humorous, (and risky) direction with Paul Rudd as Ant-Man. Arnie is back in a new Terminator that promises to blow up lots of things, including the concept of time-travel paradox. We also get the long-awaited reboot of the Fantastic Four Franchise, that has gotten almost no press after the uproar that Johnny Storm was going to be played by Michael B Jordan
…because we can believe cosmic radiation gives you super-powers, but no way a black man and white woman can be siblings…
And in December, the first of the installment of the third act of the Star Wars franchise hits. The teaser trailer looked awesome and some of the leaked storylines are intriguing. If Disney can do to the Star Wars brand what it did to Marvel, I damn well might worship The Mouse forever. At a minimum, I hope the new trilogy can clean the taste of George Lucas’ prequels from my mouth.
…really best not to imagine George Lucas actually being in my mouth…
My creepy little piece of Flash Fiction, Mr. Belial, will soon appear in the Winter Edition of Philly Flash Inferno. This will be the second piece I’ve had published (first being “No Fun Joe” in Tall Tales and Short Stories from South Jersey), and I hope it’s a harbinger of a productive year. If I can get the rewrites in, this might be the year The Bridesmaids (and others) make it to the alter.
…dream on, writer boy…
It’s shaping up to be an excellent 2015 Philadelphia Writers’ Conference, featuring workshops by (amongst others) Solomon Jones, Merry Farmer, Judi Fennell, and KnippKnopp Literary Man-Crush Dennis Tafoya. We’ve got the most excellent Cristin O’Keefe (Dr. Mutter’s Marvels) as our Keynote speaker, and the author of the immensely popular Pretty Little Liars series, Sara Shepard, will be delivering our opening remarks. I’ll be running my second installation of the Cards Against Humanity inspired prompt contest “Apples to Writers” on Sunday morning. We’ll see if reigning Queen of all Writers Melanie Atherton Allen can retain her crown.
…I am not amused…
And lots of stuff coming out from Philly area writers. Former Philly Guy (and the Hardest Working Man in Print) Jonathan Maberry will be releasing several new works, including Predator One, Cold,Cold Heart, and a new Middle-Grade horror series called Nightsiders. Dennis Tafoya doesn’t have new work coming out in 2015, but his daughter does. Rachel Tafoya’s debut novel “The Night House” launches in January (today in fact) . Personal PWC Siren Kathryn Craft’s second novel, The Far End of Happy, inspired by actual events in her life, hits the shelves in May, and it promises to be riveting reading.
read it….would this face recommend a bad book?
South Jersey Writers’ Group head honcho Amy Holiday is running a prompted short story challenge. Our friends at Shock Totem are ending their prompt contests and will be moving in exciting new directions. And those lovable lunatics at Grey Matter Press keep pumping out the excellent anthologies and bringing in the accolades. Death’s Realm, featuring work by Hank Schwaeble, Paul Michael Anderson, and John FD Taft among many others, will be out in January.
read it…would this face recommend a bad book?
So all in all, a very busy year. I might even have twenty minutes to fit in some writing!