Forgive me reader for I have sinned. It’s been 15 months since my last submission.
When I started this blog, way back in the beginning of 2010, I really thought I’d stick to it, thought I’d throw some stories up once a month or so. And I did great…for three whole months. Then I skipped a few months and said “New Plan…I’ll do this quarterly!” After all, the purpose of this little exercise was to be my writerly calisthenics. Jumping Jacks for the muse. Only there to help me warm up for the dozens of exquisitely rendered chapters that would come flowing out of my keyboard. I couldn’t be expected to keep churning out these free kernels of humor and wisdom when my “real work” awaited, right? I managed one lonely post at the end of 2010, mostly because I was pissed about waiting for the bus again, then suddenly it’s 2012 and more than a year has gone by.
So how has my “real work” fared since I’ve released KnippKnopp on an unsuspecting world? Well, my first novel won the National Book of the Month in February last year, and I’m sure everyone saw my acceptance speech after my best original screenplay win at the 2011 Academy Awards. And obviously, if you’re reading KnippKnopp, you’re aware that it’s now nationally syndicated and one of the most beloved humor sites on the web….Oh wait, sorry….those were all the things I daydreamed about instead of writing for the past year and a half. Beyond that, 2011 was pretty much a writers wasteland for me.
OK – not a total waste. I had completed three short stories in 2010 and early 2011 (“Change”, “House Sitting”, and “McKinnon’s Boys”) and began the arduous process of submitting them. Unfortunately, I’m 0 for 25 . I’ve been told multiple times that writing ain’t for sissies, and that you need to get used to rejection….but boy somewhere between that 20th and 25th rejection, it really did start to hurt. On the plus side, I did manage to get on the short list of a few publications: “Change” at the Corpulent Insanity Press’ “Clones and Crucifixes” anthology and “House Sitting” at Red Penny Papers and at Allegory Ezine (where it garnered an Honorable Mention for their winter 2011 edition.)
I also attended the Philadelphia Writers’ Conference in June 2011 and ABSOFREAKINLUTELY LOVED IT! Easily best money I’ve spent in a while. I learned a lot and got some great feedback and can’t wait until this June to go back. At some point, I’ll post the blog I should have last year telling you about my adventures and the great people I’ve met (like Kelly Simmons, Don Lafferty, and the Liars Club)…I highly recommend checking these guys out.
Alas, 2011 began with me asking to be released from my contract with Wild Child Press for my novella “Jonesing.” After what I felt was an inordinate amount of time simply waiting for an editor (15 months), I decided it would be best if I tried to market my story elsewhere. The Editor-in-Chief at Wild Child agreed to sever the contract, thus making “Jonesing” a free agent (unfortunately, not the Albert Pujols kind…more like the journeyman pitcher on his way to Japan kind). This plan would have worked, too. If I actually, you know, tried to market it somewhere else.
So what now?….Well – it’s a brand new year and time to start again..um…again. And I think I’m off to a good start…after all, I’ve posted this haven’t I? In addition, I’ve gotten some great ideas from my cousin-in-law the cop that will improve “McKinnon’s Boys.” I’ve made some edits to “Jonesing” that I think make it an even better story (and am seriously considering trying to expand it to a novel…after all, how hard can an additional 33,000 words be?) I’ve also developed a Crack addiction that has Pros (it’s freakin’ awesomely hilarious) and Cons (you can lose hours of writing time moving from one link to another) that has led me to an obsessive desire to get published there…<sigh>…if only I was funny!
So here we are. A fresh start. New fortitude. And a committment to write every day…and this time I mean it!